Why Can Starting Therapy Feel So Difficult?

There can sometimes be a long pause between thinking about starting therapy and taking the first step. You may know that you want support, yet writing the first email, making the phone call, or booking an initial appointment may feel more difficult than you expected.

For each person, that hesitation can mean something different. Some people are unsure where to begin. Others wonder whether what they are going through is "important enough" to bring to therapy. Some feel uncertain about what it might be like to talk about themselves with someone they have never met. Sometimes, people cannot fully explain why it feels difficult; they simply notice that they have been unable to take the first step.

The uncertainty or hesitation that comes before starting therapy is often something people try to push aside. Yet, at times, that experience itself can tell us something about the way we relate to ourselves. What makes taking the first step difficult is different for everyone.

An initial therapy session does not have to be a place where you explain everything about yourself or have all the right words. Instead, it can be the beginning of making sense of what has brought you to therapy and of discovering what it feels like to build a therapeutic relationship.

Every therapy journey unfolds differently. Some people feel ready to talk from the very first session, while others need more time for trust to develop. There is no right pace and no perfect way to begin.

Sometimes, the uncertainty you experience before starting therapy becomes one of the first things you can be curious about together in therapy. After all, therapy is not only about talking through life's challenges. It can also be a space to understand how we relate to those challenges, what we tend to postpone, and why certain steps can feel so difficult to take.

If you are thinking about starting therapy but find yourself struggling to take the first step, you do not have to figure it out on your own. I offer a free 15-minute consultation for adults and couples in Toronto, as well as virtual psychotherapy across Ontario and Alberta. It is an opportunity to discuss what brings you to therapy and whether working together feels like a good fit.